The economy in my little energy driven sector of the world has been hit pretty hard. There’s a whole lot of empty commercial property right now, one of those being our Kmart. This poses a problem for me since we are in the middle of nowhere with limited options for children’s shopping. It’s even more of a problem for me because I hate WalMart. I don’t mean I publicly say I hate it but secretly shop there 3 times a week. No, I mean I hate it so much that I can count on my fingers how many times I’ve been there out of sheer desperation in the last 5 years. When I have to buy things last minute, which is all the freaking time because I’m horrible at planning ahead, I always found myself at Kmart taking care of whatever needed to be purchased. This is especially true of baby shower gifts. I’ve purchased so many baby gifts over the last few years at Kmart that I’m back to getting baby samples in the mail. It’s a bit ridiculous.
Today, I had a baby shower to go to, and as I was standing in the zoo that is the local WalMart, I posted the following status on facebook. “WalMart…because everyone needs to feel instantly more attractive once in a while…and because I’ve really got to start planning ahead and give myself time to order from Buy Buy Baby now that our Kmart is closed and we’re in the middle of nowhere without a Target in sight. #ihatethisplace” Then I put my phone in my pocket and headed to the baby shower.
About an hour later, I opened my phone to, no joke, 25 messages and texts wishing me congratulations and asking if there was anything I needed. That was fun. Time to clarify the facebook status to add “for baby showers, I’m not knocked up!” right after that planning ahead bit. This one post got more of a reaction than the one time I was out of town lobbying at the Capitol and my dear friends at the radio explained my absence as a bout of morning sickness and a visit with the doctor. Good times…
What I did learn today though, is that even my friendly acquaintances are the best of the best. Seriously, there was so much love and support being thrown out there, it’s almost sad to disappoint everyone and say it isn’t so. But if it was, 1- it’d be ectopic. 2- I’d be rich, and featured in some medical journals. And 3- that’d be a longer gestation period than April the Giraffe. No, I’m not knocked up. That belly is all tacos and no baby, and is nothing a little CrossFit and clean eating won’t fix.
So Happily Never After 