I took a friend’s daughter to see Only The Brave this weekend. It worked nicely for both of us, because she “never gets to do anything” and I didn’t have to go to the movie by myself. After the movie, I posted something to my Facebook page about it, because if you don’t put it on social media, does it even count? (jk…I swear I’m not one of those “I MUST post EVERYTHING” people.) Anyway, a friend of mine commented “Um….thanks for telling me he dies!” and I’m 99% sure she’s being sarcastic about it, which is cool. Sarcastic people are my favorite.
The message I got from a complete stranger though….that has me questioning society as a whole. It read in part “You have a responsibility to NOT share the ending of movies before people have a chance to see them.” Um….what in the hell?! First of all, the movie had been out for 10 days when I posted something about Josh Brolin dying, and secondly, it’s based on a true freaking story! Call me crazy, but I’m pretty sure “spoiler alerts” aren’t possible in movies that are based on actual events. BUT….in case you missed basic history or current events, and because I’m feeling like quite the sarcastic jerk today, here’s some more “spoiler alerts” for you.
- World Trade Center: Airplanes hit the World Trade Center and Pentagon killing nearly 3000 people
- American Sniper: Chris Kyle gets shot
- JFK: Y’all, the president gets assassinated during a parade
- Lincoln: You’ll never guess, but he gets shot in a theater
- Pompeii: Mount Vesuvius erupts, that’s not good
- Zero Dark Thirty: Seal Team 6 kills Osama bin Laden
- Titanic: The entire movie leads up to the boat sinking. Who knew?!
- First Man: Now this one is in pre-production, and due to release next year, but it’s about Neil Armstrong, and you’ll never believe it, but he walks on the moon!
- Pearl Harbor: Japan attacks the US at Pearl Harbor bringing the US in to WW2
- Marie Antoinette: executed by guillotine
- Apollo 13: after the infamous “Houston, we have a problem,” and some makeshift repairs, the astronauts make it back safely.
- Milk: A gay activist becomes California’s first openly gay elected official
- Only The Brave: …the one that got me in “trouble”…it’s the true story of the Granite Mountain Hotshots who were killed in 2013 when the fire they were fighting blocked their escape route and trapped them.
Finally, because some day, someone is going to make a movie about this one, you know they will, but *ADVANCE SPOILER ALERT*, just so you’re not upset when the movie is released, in November 2016, Donald Trump was elected president of the United States of America, and the country lost its collective shit.